Today I helped out a young co-worker by cashing out an old man that placed a carryout order. His change was ten dollars and rather than give him a ten spot I gave him a five and five ones. For some reason this really, really chapped his ass and he did not hesitate to tell me so. He stared disconsolately at the bills in his hand and mumbled an old fart monologue for a bit. Gradually, intelligible words began to emerge and he wanted to know why I had to give him so many small bills. I chirpily (that's totally a word- chirpily. Like a perky little sparrow) replied "So you can give this young man here a tip, of course!"
He found this outrageous. He stared at me, steely eyed and spat out, " That's what I figured. I know what you're doing!"
He was on to me! Nonplussed I just smiled sweetly and said,"Well he has to make a living doesn't he?"
Wrong answer again! And now he starts to get really ugly and says,"If this is what he's doing for a living then he's screwed anyway."
Still refusing to let this old bastard get under my skin I say, still smiling, "Well he's young, he's still got time."
To which he sneers back, "So what's your excuse?"
Just like that, he drops the bomb. And the little sparrow is gone.
