Completely drained by a Kids Eat Free dinner shift, I only have the energy to relay an actual conversation with a table this evening:
A family of nine, Ma, Pa, Grandpa, Auntie and a passel of young 'uns which included a little girl around 4 years old that was a ruddy little butterball ordering dinner. After a starter of cheese fries each of them ordered fried chicken and substituted their vegetables for a double helping of cheese fries with extra ranch dressing. It was at this time that I began to suspect the cause of their collective obesity...
Grandpa decides he wants fajitas, to the clan's consternation.
Me: "How do you feel about guacamole?"
Paw: "Huh what?"
Me: "Are you a fan of guacamole?"
Paw: "Naw."
Me: "Would you like something in place of guacamole, more pico de gallo or sour cream perhaps?"
Paw. "Jest give it to me normal."
Me: "It comes with sour cream, pico, mixed cheese and guacamole. If you don't like guacamole we will double up on one of the other things. Which of them would you like?"
Paw: "Jest make it like it comes."
Me: "I need you to tell me what you would like it to come with."
Paw: "I want it normal. Do it like normal."
Me: "It is up to you, sir to determine what normal is. What. Would. You. Like. With. Your. Fajita?"
Paw looks around the table at his slack jawed kin. He is beginning to regret deviating from the fried chicken option. "I want it like how you make it."
This goes on for some time until I am forced to make an executive decision: "You appear to be big fans of cheese. How about cheese? A lot of cheese?"
It turned out he didn't want "none of that other stuff" after all.
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