Friday, July 8, 2011

Tea Time

Friday night brings a slightly different crowd. It's the "♫ I got a li'l change in my pocket goin' jing a ling a ling ♫" crowd. That's right. Payday. Time to treat the clan to a fancy dinner at the Fajita Factory.

My favorite table this evening was a family of paint chip eaters that took exception to our methods of brewing sweet tea. If you are reading this and you don't live in the Deep South you may be fortunate enough to be unaware of the unique importance of sweet tea in the Holy Trinity of the South. One day I'll get around to chronicling this. Actually, I can do this right now. It goes like this:

"Every knee shall bow"
                
  
Jesus Christ/Johnny Van Zant
Elvis drinks this in heaven with General Lee
   


 Wow that was easier than I      thought.










 The conversation went like this:

Bubba: "I want something else to drink. Your sweet tea is nasty."

Me: "Oh? Is there something wrong with it?"

Bubba: "It's nasty."

Me: "I haven't had any complaints about it tonight."

Bubba: "It tastes nasty."

Me: "Hm. Well, I can get you something else, but I'm wondering if there's something wrong with it so I can    troubleshoot it. How does it taste?"

Bubba: "Nasty."

Me: "Is there another adjective you might be able to use to describe it?"

Bubba stares at me. I am beginning to get used to being stared at by my tables now.

Bubba: "Taste it. It tastes nasty."

Me: "It wouldn't help if I tasted it, I don't ever drink the stuff. I wouldn't know what it's supposed to taste like."

I may as well have said I only drink the blood of orange kittens. More staring. And why does he just keep saying nasty??

Bubba: "Do ya'll put bakin' soda in it?"

Me: "No."

Bubba: "Ya'll need to put bakin' soda in it. That makes it taste good. It...makes...it..uhh."

Bubba has gone and used up all his words.

Me: "It neutralizes some of the tannic acid and makes it less bitter?"
I'm honestly trying to help here.

Bubba's cousin declares: "It just ain't sweet enough!"


There you have it: the definition of 'nasty'.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

A tiny pinch of salt will do the same for bitter coffee or tea. TINY PINCH. But it sounds like a real brain trust at the ol' FF.