So the question for today's blog is:
How can people be so ignorant as to believe that they can routinely eat buckets of fried beige meat with fried potatoes dipped in bowls of fat sauce and wash it down with a gallon of sugar water and not continue to balloon out like a bloated drowned cow?
People are getting fat in America. Those of us who aren't fat are the minority now, which means that in the future, we will have to have special toilets so we don't fall in. Look at this thing:
this is considered a bathtub in Japan |
I don't care what the late night t.v. commercial says. The only pill you could eat after that disgusting shame banquet that would possibly prevent the postal service giving you your own zip code would be something containing freeze dried tapeworm larvae. But people will do anything to avoid getting off their asses apparently. Look at the attention given to the whole Dr. Atkins diet revolution. I worked at the Macaroni Grill when this travesty took hold of the nation and had to grit my teeth while these porcine wankers tried to order food that Dr. Atkins would approve of. Which at a pasta restaurant is pretty much nothing. This got so out of hand that when he died it was a bit of a relief because when I had to deal with one of those nincompoops and they started trying to order a double cheese and prosciutto sandwich with no bread and a bowl of bacon I would have only to stare at them until they started to putter out and then I would wait patiently for them to stop talking. I would stare at them until they were quite finished. And then I would say, "You know Dr. Atkins is dead right? He died. Of a HEART ATTACK."
Dr. Atkins prescribes...more pork rinds! |
2 comments:
They make a pill that doesn't allow your body to absorb fat, so it just leaks out of your anus like runny orange sherbert!
Oh my GOD! Your comments are better than this blog!
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